


Tainted

by FairTradeHoney



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 02:50:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairTradeHoney/pseuds/FairTradeHoney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda for 9x09.<br/>Cas finds Dean in the bunker and unsurprisingly, Dean's not doing so well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tainted

Cas found Dean slumped on the floor, motionless but for the slight rise and fall of his ragged breathing. The room appeared to have been ransacked, a mess of rubble with Dean at its center. Cas navigated around broken glassware, the remnants of a number of desk lamps, and a dozen or so books lying splayed about with broken spines and pages in tatters. 

“It’s my fault,” Dean confessed, as Cas crouched beside him. “I destroy their lives. Kevin, Sam. How many others? People I can’t even remember, that I will myself to forget.” Dean’s eyes were red and swollen, but dry. “Their blood. It’s all over them,” Dean said, presenting his hands to Cas palm up in a gesture of surrender.

Cas saw that a giant gash ran across Dean’s left hand from pinky to thumb. The right one was in better shape, though both were decorated with bruises and small lacerations.

“Tainted, permanently,” Dean muttered. “Can’t wash it off.”

“No,” said Cas, “that’s not true.” He took Dean’s face in his hands, forcing Dean to look him in the eyes. Cas’ words and his touch were gentle but firm. “You’ve been to hell and back, Dean. You sacrifice yourself constantly to keep others safe. You are noble and strong, but you are just a man. You forget that you will never be able to save everyone.”

Dean turned his head, breaking eye contact and pulling away, both disbelieving and feeling unworthy of Cas’ touch.

Cas persisted, taking Dean’s hands in his own. His thumbs traced the lines of Dean’s palms, reverently. “These hands are strong,” Cas insisted. Then he lifted Dean’s hands and placed a soft kiss along the tear in the flesh, the wound disappearing. “They are kind,” kissing a bruise on Dean’s thumb. “Protective.” This continued, Cas kissing the pads of each of Dean’s fingers, one-by-one, until his hands were free of abrasions.

Cas looked up to see tear-swollen green eyes gazing back at him, perplexed. “Dean, with these hands you pulled me from the edge. I was lost and broken, and these hands brought me back to myself. They saved me. They are not tainted. They are good, honorable. More importantly, you are honorable.” 

At that, tears began to fall from Dean’s eyes. But Cas was there to kiss each of them away, one by one, an act of worship from a holy man.

**Author's Note:**

> **you can find me on tumblr as fairtradehoney**


End file.
